Wedding Preparations in Indonesia

Reception process

Having a wedding party in Indonesia is a long story to tell. Some said that it’s a 2-hour party with one-year preparation. Well, they might be right for some reason, because it’s not that simple to have a wedding preparation in Indonesia as we seen in the western country, for example. A lot of energy and consideration is needed to make a numerous decision. As the wedding is going to be a sacred party for couples, and they want to be the best party of their memories.

I can say that there are some differences between urban and rural areas in consideration. In urban areas, what becomes the primary concern is the elegance and luxury of the party, while in rural areas, the order of the tradition must be followed to keep the sacred of this wedding party. Religion and beliefs are also distinguishing factor in planning a wedding party.

Plan It With Budget

The reason why it’s a long story to tell is that it needs around 6-12 month preparation before the wedding day. But other couples may require only three months or less before the D-day. It depends on their daily schedule. As it going to spend a lot of energy, they prefer to use wedding vendors. Many vendors offer various benefits. Today, many wedding vendors in town, or on the internet. Couples can choose which one is the best for their desire and, of course, with their budget. However, in rural areas, some preparation is done by family and neighbor, such as food, place, and the entertainment. It happens because of a high sense of gotong-royong (cooperation) among these peoples. As far as I know, the average cost for Wedding preparation in Indonesia is around IDR 15 – 40 million.

Special Date and Invitation

Way before the D-day, couples need to choose a perfect date. Some couples prefer the long holiday to celebrate the party, but others are finding the best date based on certain reason. By asking a Kyai (a person who know about religions well) or Sesepuh (a people who know about the customs well).

I’m sure that every couple never wants to miss their particular moment at their wedding. So, they want to capture it by hiring professional photography service. Couples also need to prepare a souvenir and send an invitation to colleagues and families. But most of it is the invitation to their parent’s colleagues and families.

Akad Nikah and Gown

Before having a wedding reception, there is an Akad Nikah (wedding ceremony). is the main point of this wedding celebration. It is a religious ceremony to inaugurate the legitimacy of both brides as a husband and wife.

At the wedding reception, bride and groom wearing customs gown or the modern one, prepared by wedding vendor. Different customs required different preparation in some parts. But as a whole, wedding preparation in Indonesia is a long way to go.

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The life of New Couples in Cambodia

Generally in Cambodia, there is only men that start courting women even sometime women start to fail in love to men first, they still not dare enough to show their feeling. It can be say that because of the culture reflection. After a man start to feel in love or interest with a woman, he will try to follow that woman. In the past they will write the latter but for recently they will ask her phone number and call her. On the other hand, nowadays since the technology is updated, man can be ask her name in the social media (FB, Line and etc.) and chat with her.

Firstly, if the man and the lady can talk to each other much more or get on well together, they will their let their parents know about relationship between two of them. Each family will let their child to invite his/her partner come to visit home. Each parents will try to look at the attitude, appearance, personality, of child’s partner and ask them something about their family or their education/occupation. After the new couple got approved from their parents, the man will invite his parents come to visit his partner parents and start to propose the girl.

For the wedding, the groom’s family going to give the dowry to the bride’s family with the limit which they discussed. They will invite the monks to search for a good day for the wedding day. After the wedding day is selected, each families will prepare the invitation letter for the guests to join. Parents need to renew something in their house and start to book something for the wedding day such as foods, cameraman and something else for the upcoming wedding day.

Regarding with life of new couple after marriage, most of them going to live with the wife’s family. However, it is not hundred percentage for that because for the couple who are rich they may decide to buy their own house for living the rest of their life. Husband and wife will try their best to increase their income to support their living and save for their next generation. Then if the wife got pregnant and give birth to child, her husband will ask her to suspend the job and look after the family and the baby and even sometime stop the for the period. Man will try harder with his job while his woman is being a housewife. After two or three years till the child grow up and can to enroll the school, wife will seeking for a new job or run their small business to support the family. If the family go smooth, they will continue together till the rest of their time.

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Marriage Practices of the Kankanaey Tribe in Northern Philippines

Marriage from courtship to post – marriage activities is a community undertaking in the Kinali culture.

Pre-marriage activities ensures the compatibility of soon-to-be partners in the Kinali community, and once united are expected to become productivemembers of society.

Kinali tribal courtships starts with the anag. Bachelors, after the farm works return to their villages, and take their rest at the dap-ay. From thence forth, they will make the customary journey into the olog, the designated dormitory for young girls and unmarried ladies of the village. Stories commence into the night, with the bachelors doing everything they can to woo the ladies into their side.

At times, farm works are required of the ladies to test the mettle and determination of the bachelors. These includes, but are not limited to pounding rice with mortar and pestle, gathering of firewood for the girl’s family, fetching water, carrying rice grains from the farms to the abode of the girl, and even looking after the cattle and livestock.

Every available methods are employed to test the soon to be member of the family, it include the observance of his character as well as values and attitudes.

At times, when bachelors have passed marrying age, of which is often nearing the mid-forties, the elders of the community perform the sagut. The sagut, is the traditional practice of pairing bachelors with spinsters, and at times younger girls even half their age. The idea for the latter, is for the girl to take care of the aging bachelor at old age. The consummation of such requires the approval of both parties, and the families should be amenable to the agreement.

Sukat the makan follows once the partners agreed to get married. This is the traditional practice of exchanging food, usually sweet potatoes and meat, between the families. In the old days, when the belief on tala (witchcraft and sorcery) and, kedet (food poisoning) was still prevalent, there is a need to established trusting relationships between families, thus the purpose of the sukat di makan.

Other practices includes the:

Daw-es – cleansing ritual

Begans – thanks giving ritual

Dawak – Traditional wedding

Senga – thanks giving party

Sekad di Gameng – passing of the inheritance during the wedding night

Bab-a-at – claiming of traditional gifts from relatives of neighboring villages

Bakid – the closing ritual to end the festivities

Summer festival(Ayyoweng di Lambak ed Tadian) a call to a big celebration in Tadian,Mountain Province,Philippines,March 5,2011-The Kankanaey Tribes of Tadian Mountain Provinces clad in their colorful traditonal ethnic wear featuring the evolution of their native costumes from ancient time when barks of trees and plants were used as clothing material to the advent of cotton wherein colorful traditional ethnic designs are still beinbg used to the present time.the festival is three day celebration of traditional ethnic dances,music and merry making celebrated during summer after a bountiful rice harvest.

 

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Javanese Wedding Beliefs

Among Indonesians, Javanese is probably one of the most dominant culture. Rich with myths, legends,
philosophies, but yet humble. Javanese traditional costume, Kebaya, which is also part of Balinese and
Sundanese traditional costume, is recognized as Indonesian National Costume. Associated with grace,
elegance, and the trait of ‘alus’ , or refined in Javanese, it is natural for most Indonesia brides-to-be to
prefer Kebaya as their wedding attire.

To be paired with Kebaya, the bride would wear Batik to accentuate her look. Indonesian Batik has
distinctive motifs that differentiate its story and origin. Batik with ‘Truntum’ pattern, large and small
dots as the embodiment of light, symbolizes loyalty. The ‘Wahyu Temurun’ pattern indicates hope for
happiness, making it fit for use in weddings. Conversely, the ‘Parang Rusak’ pattern is believed to lead to
endless dispute, even separation, so it is not advisable to be worn in a wedding.

Conformity and Adjustment

Choosing what-to-wear can wait if you can’t find the right person to walk with. Regarding the
prospective husband, the bride and her family should also be cautious. As the Javanese still regard their
‘Primbon’ highly, the prospective groom shall have certain qualities. ‘Primbon’ is a Javanese method to
calculate perfect locations and timings for almost every event of life.

First of all, their ‘weton’ or birthday shoud be compatible. Based on Javanese horoscope, the
permanence, sustenance, happiness, and even progenies, of a marriage can be calculated. If these dates
are considered to be incompatible, you can atone such mistake by doing ‘tolak bala’ ritual to keep
misfortune at bay, for example, by piling up soil taken from certain place on a certain spot of the
couple’s house.

Another obstacle for the prospective couple is to avoid ‘Lusan’ marriage. ‘Lusan’ is short for ‘ketelu lan
kepisan’, roughly translated as ‘the third with the first’. There are two different types of this kind of
marriage. First, firstborn marrying thirdborn. Second, first person in his/her family to be married
marrying third person in his/her family to be married. Based on various reasons, from character
stereotypes to weton horoscope calculation, any ‘Lusan’ marriage is deemed to be potentially unhappy.

Is There Ever Really A Right Time?

Even after all those compatibility issues solved, the festivity of the wedding shall only be held after more
calculations. Most of all, the wedding shall not be held during ‘Bulan Suro’. ‘Bulan Suro’ is the first
month in the Javanese calendar and it is said that any celebration would be a taboo. As the year restarts,
people are expected to also cleanse themselves into a state called ‘suwung’, a spiritually and physically
immaculate condition.

The dates of each wedding rituals and ceremony shall be calculated based on ‘Primbon’ to make sure
that they are held in a good day. If you happened to be married on the wrong date, another ‘tolak bala’
ritual is necessary.

Although Indonesians are considered to be quite modern, their traditions lives on. These beliefs and
rituals rooted deeply, inseperable from everyday life and, especially, special occasions. It is common for
any culture to have so much fuss regarding weddings. When two people decided to tie the sacred knot,
the whole village shall cheer, and of course, protect the newly formed community unit.

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North Indian Hindu Wedding

“Smell of Flowers with Exchange of rings, scented envelopes filled with Blessings

Traditional attires on the queen and the king, is perfect and defines the Big Fat Indian Wedding”

Indian weddings are filled with charm and charisma and are extremely popular across the globe.

North Indian weddings are known to be loyal to their customs and traditions and bring loads of energy and exuberance to all the people present around.

No matter from where you belong, you will become a part of the sing and song. 

SAGAI/SAGAN/MANGNI/ROKA

This ceremony is performed at the groom’s house and is the first step towards the wedlock, which symbolizes the new relation between the two families. On this auspicious day, pundit performs the havan (sacred fire) around which the bride’s family sits with the groom. The bride’s father performs the Pooja (prayers) applies Tilak/Teeka on the groom’s forehead as a mark of blessing. He offers him with expensive gifts like gold, clothes, accessories and feeds him with sweets.

This is followed by Chunni Sadan/Chadhana, which is performed by the groom’s family and the bride. The mother in law of the bride offers her with saris, expensive gold/diamond jewelry, and feeds her with sweets. Relatives of the groom’s family feed the bride with dry-fruits and sweets and adorn her with the jewelry.

Once the above ceremonies are over, the bride and the groom exchange their rings and receive the blessings of all the elders and love from their family and friends.

“Sweets and gifts is what we receive

Performed by the pundit during sacred fire

Family and friends are all around us

Spreading love is all what we desire”

MEHNDI

Mehndi is another pre-wedding ritual performed in a north Indian wedding. Mehndi is a paste made from the powdered, dried leaves of the henna plant It is a form of body art where decorative designs are applied to the women’s palms and feet. This is also applied to the groom’s palms as a mark of Shagun. It is a common belief that the darker the color of the mehndi, the stronger will be the bond with her husband and mother in law. The groom’s name is hidden in the mehndi of the bride, and it is a common ritual for the groom to find his name on the bride’s palms. It is a belief that if he fails to do so, the bride will dominate the household after wedding.

“Smell of the green leaf on her palms

Turning from green to red and red to brown                                      

Mixed are the feelings of anxiety and excitement

Waiting for the day to come down”

SANGEET

Sangeet ceremony usually follows the Mehndi ceremony and is held at the bride’s home. The womenfolk of the household gather around the bride and engage themselves in dancing, singing and having fun. In the modern way of doing things, families hire DJ to play the music wherein all guests and families have their dance performances. The trend these days, involves Cocktail to be combined with Sangeet ceremony.

“Laughter and chatter is spread in the air

With family and friends all around

Dancing and singing on their favorite numbers

It’s amazing with all the lights and sound”

HALDI

Haldi ceremony is held separately at the respective houses of the bride and the groom. It takes place on the same day morning of the wedding D Day. In this ceremony, the bride and the groom are applied with thick coats of haldi (turmeric paste) on their faces, arms and legs by their families and friends. It also includes the relatives of the groom performing Pooja and touching the groom’s feet and shoulders with mango leaf that is dipped in haldi. It is traditionally believed that the antiseptic qualities of the haldi protects the couple from any cuts or bruises and keeps them healthy. It also infuses a natural glow to the skin.

“Bright and sunny as the day is here

Yellow is the color in the room

Fun and frolic is the theme today

Glowing are the bride and the groom”

SHAADI

On the day of the wedding, the groom’s family takes the transport to the wedding venue arranged by the bride’s family. Usually it is either a fancy car, decorated with flowers which is used as transport or a female white horse called Ghodi on which the groom will sit and ride in the Baraat. The Ghodi is fed with Chana as part of the ritual before the groom rides it. Friends, family members and relatives dance to their fullest on the dhol while reaching the venue of the wedding.

The bride, dressed in a beautiful lehenga or sari wearing heavy jewelry walks towards the Mandap. She is escorted by all her brothers holding chunni far above her head. This symbolizes, brothers handing over their sister to the groom, so that he takes care of her throughout his life. The bride and the groom exchange their garlands and sit next to each other. This ceremony is called Jai Mala.

The pundit performs the havan (sacred fire) around which the bride’s father will formally give his daughter’s hand to the husband-to-be. This ritual is called Kanyadaan.

The pundit will chant the 7 Vachan (7 promises/vows) that the couple must chant and agree to. This is followed by tying the couple together with a red chunni to take 7 rounds of the sacred fire. This ceremony is called Pheras. The pundit chants the sholkas and gives his blessings to the newly wed. The husband now puts red sindoor (vermillion) on the wife’s forehead and mangalsutra (holy necklace) around her neck as a sign of their marriage.

The bride now must leave her home officially and go to her new husband’s home (Sasusral). There is extreme pain and emotion, felt by the bride’s family as they are getting separated from their daughter. She walks away from the house by throwing rice to her parent’s home (Maika). This symbolizes that this home remains prosperous even after she leaves, as the daughter in Indian family is considered Goddess Lakshmi. This ceremony is the last one and is called Vidai.

With a pink of romance and blush of red

Deeper and stronger is my LOVE

Forever yours and always with you

Are the vows that have taken us high above

This day, this moment is what I have longed for

Waited and waited all my life

Tied the knot to be with each other

Together as Husband and Wife

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The Big Fat Indian Weddings

It is said that “Marriages are made in Heaven”, but in India, most marriages need an approval from the families of both the bride and groom. Marriage can be either love marriage or arranged marriage, but in both cases consent of respective families are important and sought after. Unlike the Western countries, wedding in India is a big social event especially if the bride or groom is the only child in the family. It’s an opportunity for the parents to display their social status and invite their relatives, friends, colleagues and associates to lavish events of the wedding. Yes, you heard it right, events and not a single event of tying nuptial knots followed by meals.

The Hindu wedding

Most Hindu weddings consist of multiple events spread across three to four days. Engagement being the first ritual of the wedding and marks the all-important approval of the families of both the bride and groom. Engagement period can last from few months to couple of years or can be a formality ritual clubbed with the wedding events. Engagement is followed by another ritual of setting up the wedding venue with prayers and limited attendance of close family members. Once the wedding venue is set-up, the bride’s family conduct the “Mehendi” ceremony which is the artistic application of natural henna on the hands and feet of the bride and other female members of the family.

The ceremony

“Mehendi” ceremony is followed by “Haldi” ceremony for both bride and groom. In “Haldi” ceremony, turmeric paste is applied on the body and face of bride and groom for extra glow on skin and purification of the body since turmeric is anti-septic. The evening marks the beginning of “Wedding songs event” where the female members of both families sing traditional wedding songs followed by the family and guests dancing and grooving to DJ music. Wedding songs event is generally accompanied by snacks, beverages and dinner.

On the wedding day, the bride’s family becomes the host of the event and the groom’s family come to the wedding venue as a “Baraat” which is essentially a procession of groom’s family and guests. The groom rides on a horse to the wedding venue and family and friends once again dance and groove to DJ music. Welcome of the groom and “Baraat” is done by the bride’s family and it’s a fun event with groom’s family trying to protect the groom from the pranks of the bride’s family members.

The wedding ceremony generally starts at the predefined auspicious time period and is marked by the bride’s father performing the “Kanyadaan” ritual which literally means giving the bride away to the groom. This is followed by “Hast-milap” the hand shake of bride and groom and tying of “Mangalsutra” – the wedding necklace on the bride by the groom. The wedding ceremony is then completed by “Saat-fere” which is the seven rounds of holy fire by bride and groom with seven vows followed by taking blessings from the elders. Food is served to the guests simultaneously during the wedding and normally continues for more time after the wedding is over.

Indian weddings are lavish and costly affairs with lot of spend on clothes, gold ornaments, gifts, home and venue decoration, food and beverage, travel arrangements, etc. It’s normal to have 1,000 to 1,500 invitees in a wedding which spans over three to four days and hence the famous title “The Big Fat Indian Weddings”.

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Marriage Ceremony in Pakistan

Marriage in Pakistan is a legal union between a man and a woman. Culturally, it is not only a link between the husband and wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. Because about 97% of Pakistan’s population is Muslim the Islamic law is usually observed. Some of the most common events that are held in a Pakistani marriages include marriage Proposal, Engagement, Dholki, Mehndi (Henna), Barat, Nikah, Registration, Reception, Rukhsti (Farewell), Valima (Walima), and Honeymoon.

One man having multiple wives is permitted in Pakistan wife gives attested written permission. However, it is now less common, especially in urban areas.

Marriages are often arranged within the family or within the same community or ethnicity. Social and educational statuses are very important in arranged matrimonial alliances. However nowadays, love marriages are slowly becoming more common and acceptable in Pakistan. Arranged matches are made after taking into account factors such as the wealth and social standing of their families. A marriage can also be made within the extended family.

Some main customs of Pakistani Marriages

  1. Dastar Bandi or the “Wearing of the turban” is a ceremony which is performed in parts of Punjab and Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. The ceremony marks the start of manhood for the groom. Elder men in the groom’s family place a turban on his head and formally include him in the ‘circle of men’.
  2. Doodh Pilai is a ceremony which is prevalent in many Pakistani weddings. On the actual wedding day, sisters, cousins or friends of the bride will bring milk for the groom. After he drinks the milk, he is supposed to present them with money and presents.
  3. Maklava is a predominantly Punjabi custom. Traditionally, the marriages were arranged and often contracted between people from different cities and villages. This often meant that the bride was unfamiliar with her new family. To ease her into the new life and surroundings, she was brought back to her parents’ house a few days after the wedding. She then spent some time at her parents’ house before heading back to her new husband’s home. This practice is still prevalent in most rural areas of the Punjab.
  4. Chauthi or the fourth day after the wedding the brides parents host a dinner for the immediate family members of the groom, often this is marked with playful traditions like hiding the shoes of the groom and a lavish feast.
  5. Guthna Pakrai is a Punjabi custom in which the younger brother of the bridegroom holds the knee of the bride and doesn’t let go until some acceptable monetary gift is given to him.
  • Darwaza Rukai (doorway blocking).
  • Juta Chupai (shoe hiding).
  • Sehra Bandhai (garlands dressing).
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A beautiful marriage custom celebrated by Ahom community of Assam

A beautiful marriage custom celebrated by Ahom community of Assam. Ahom-an well-known dynasty which was able to rule all over Brahmaputra valley for almost around 600 years. The dynasty passed over long years ago, but their traditions are still followed by the people of their community proudly. Chaklang marriage is one of them

Chaklang-a marriage where prayers are verbally handed over the bride and groom by the Ahom priest named as “siring phukan”.He reminds the couple about the proud history of their ancestors in front of 101 sacred “saaki”(lamp made by clay).

In earlier days the duration of the marriage ceremony was performed for 9 days. Now it has been reduced to 3 days.

Rituals before wedding

The family of groom asks the hand of the bride by sending a gift called “sodhanibhar”, which is comprises of all glorious food items of Ahom community like duck, betel nuts etc. If the family of the bride accepts that, wedding date can be fixed.

1st day of chaklang marriage

The day starts with “joron-diya”ritual,where family of groom comes to gift her all traditional dresses and ornaments in front of the society. The ritual is followed by some holy traditional marriage song named as “biyanaam”. After the ritual gets over, bride family welcomes them for a royal lunch.

2nd day of chaklang marriage

The second day of chaklang marriage is called as “murot tel diya”.In this particular ritual, the priest worship the God Khoakham and offers him food. The priest goes for fishing to nearby river and the fish caught by him is cooked for the couple.

3rd day of chaklang marriage

The 3rd day is called as “chaklang day” which has plenty of rituals. The day starts with the ritual called “pani-tola”.All the married women of the community go to river with a colorful musical procession to bring water to bath bride and groom. They are seated under “kolgos”(banana tree)and bathed by their senior family members.

After that, Ahom wedding special attires are put on.The bridal attire is comprising of beautiful white and golden riha, sador and mekhela including Ahom traditional ornaments golpota,thuria etc.The attire of groom is a beautiful silk based white dress with a turban.

Once all the rituals are done in their own home,the groom has to go the bride’s home and he is accompanied by his family members and friends.Once they reach,they are welcomed by most beautiful way possible by the family of bride and the groom is requested to sit in front of maral-the main attraction of chaklang marriage,where a rangoli is surrounded by 101 sacred lamps.After the prayers are done, a part of cloth of bride is tied up with the groom called “lagna gathi” and all the people present over there bless them and pray for their long marital life.

After that, two royal rituals are done. The bride picks the “hangdang”(the royal sword) and asks the groom to take it. It means she allows him to protect her family from enemies. Once he accepts that, she gives him “kavas”- a protector weaved by her within a night. It means the kavas made by her with all love and pride will protect him in his bad times.

Then, panchamrita (a food mixture of curd, honey, milk, sugar and ghee) is given to the couple and the marriage rituals ended with playing the dice game-“pasha” by bride and groom.

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Ceremony Customs and Traditions in the Philippines

A lot of weddings in the Philippines are lavish and glamorous. Being the most important day for the bride and the groom, everything should be perfectly executed and beautifully done. Yet being a predominantly Christian nation, the Filipinos have infused their wedding ceremonies with Christian rites, with several traditional beliefs instilled in the ceremony.

A long list of godparents are usually prepared by the couple to serve as the witnesses to their wedding. Traditionally, they would invite the highest authority in their locality to stand as their primary sponsors. The entourage of the wedding will also be prepared.

The Ceremony Customs

Before the wedding ceremony, the bride and the groom are prohibited to see each other. A popular superstition, meeting each other before the wedding would have its repercussions. They arrive the Church separately, and are forbidden to see each other.

The ceremony begins with the groom walking down the aisle with his parents, followed by the entourage and the godparents. Clad in white, the bride is the last to enter the Church with her parents. Everyone greets the dazzling bride with a thundering applause. When the bride has reached the altar, the groom would ask the hand of the bride from her parents, a subtle symbol of the bride communing with the groom through matrimony.

In Catholic ceremonies, the wedding is done during a Eucharistic celebration. Other ceremonies usually follow the traditions of their religion. While other couples would want to be married under the court of law.

The Wedding symbols

The presence of wedding symbols in any wedding ceremony in the Philippines is widely accepted. These symbols are carried by bearers, or are placed by the secondary sponsors who are part of the entourage.

The ring symbolizes commitment to each other, its shape a symbol of eternity. Names of the couple are usually engraved on each other’s ring. One of the most important parts of the ceremony, the bride and groom exchange their vows and slips the ring on each other’s right ring finger.

An arrhae is composed of 13 unity coins which symbolizes prosperity. This symbol has rich Spanish roots, taking into consideration the fact that Filipinos have long been colonized by Spain. The symbol is given by the groom to the bride to symbolize the groom’s dedication to his bride’s welfare, and his promise to provide for the needs of his future family.

The lighting of the candles symbolizes the presence of God in their married life. The candle also reminds the couple of their baptism.

A veil is also embedded on to the married couple as a symbol for uniting the couple into one, signifying their vow to cherish and protect each other. The veil is placed over the shoulder of the groom and the head of the bride.

Finally, a cord is placed over the couple’s head and rests on their shoulders. This symbolizes the binding of the couple, and to symbolize the eternal unity of the two, till death do they part.

After the ceremonial placing of symbols, the rest of the Eucharistic celebration continues.

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Indian Wedding Customs: A Look Into Its Beauty and Elegance

India has been always known for its colorful and loud celebrations. Wedding is also one of the beautiful celebrations in India celebrated usually between the months of November and June. Overloaded with alluring customs like mehendi, sangeet and poojas, Indian wedding ceremonies can be stretched to any span of time.

Yes! That’s very true. Sounds exciting?

Here, we are going to introduce a bunch of Indian traditions and ceremonies which all together makes a graceful wedding celebration.

Indian wedding is actually divided into three segments; pre-wedding customs, wedding customs and post-wedding customs.

Let us start with Pre-wedding customs.

Pre-Wedding Customs

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Among all, Muhurta is the primary and prominent ceremony conducted involving the priest where the date and time for the wedding gets decided. Following the same, people head to further wedding ceremonies.

Pre-wedding customs takes usually a week which is composed of ceremonies like Tilak, Sangeet and Mehendi.

In earlier days, Tilak ceremony is organized a month before the wedding, but now-a-days, it is conducted as per the ease of people. It is followed by Sangeet where, both, groom’s and bride’s family celebrate by dancing and singing.

Next, comes the Mehendi, the custom of beauty and elegance. It is an art of making designs on hands and feet using a herb called Heena.

Wedding Customs

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After the arrival of all the guests, relatives and friends, comes the most beautiful day, the wedding day which is again a packet of joy, music, dance and treat.

Wedding kicks off with the Baraat, the tradition of singing and dancing by groom’s family which is welcomed by the bride’s family. The Baraat includes luxury car or a horse and a music band. The groom and his family is then greeted by bride’s family at the venue.

Now, comes the most beautiful moment of Varmala when the bride and the groom exchanges flower garlands.

After a lot of dance and singing, guests enjoy the lavishing treat hosted by bride’s and groom’s family which consists of delicious Indian traditional food and beverages.

Holding the utmost importance during the entire wedding ceremony, Mandap is the tradition where the bride and the groom takes seven vows to be abide by them for life around auspicious fire. And, the groom ties mangalsutra, a necklace made up of black beads and puts sindoor or vermilion in bride’s hair parting.

Phew!! So, many exciting, beautiful and elegant ceremonies, isn’t it? It’s time, when we will take you to the post-wedding customs.

Post-wedding Customs

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India is full of traditions and customs, following which the bride and the groom takes blessings of their elder ones by touching their feet after completing all the ceremonies.

The bride then takes a sobbing farewell from her family. But before leaving, she throws handful of rice over her head to ensure that wealth and prosperity remains in her home forever. On reaching the groom’s house, the groom’s mother welcomes the new couple with a traditional aarti.

Furthermore, there are many wedding games conducted for the the bride and groom. And, in the evening or as per the ease, groom’s family organizes a reception party to introduce family members to the bride.

Did You Enjoy?

Wedding customs are beautiful, be it Indian or any other. Since, India is a diversified country and comprised of all kinds of cultures and traditions, you will find diversified wedding rituals also. So, here we have discussed the customs followed by majority of people. But, we are sure once you will delve knowing all of the, you will fall in love with them.

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Telugu traditional marriage “Pani Grahanam”- The Bond of Knot Tying

We see different forms of marriage in India, which are based on different cultures. Whatever may be the tradition, the meaning is only one. Here the marriage means going from one phase to another phase.     That means changing from bachelor life to family person. The marriage in Telugu culture can be seen as of handiness, as a dais of teaching new  responsibilities and they are made to move hand-in-hand signifying that they must live together up to the end of life winning the heart of one another. This is the main intention of this wedding process.

How to propose

It becomes the responsibility of the parents after observing the behaviour of the children on both sides. Earlier, the boy’s father used to search for the right daughter-in-law (propose). That’s why the person who is having the knowledge of the marriage science is taken to the girl’s house. By seeing the finance (money), genealogy, nature they decide the girl. In Telugu tradition, it is one custom that the boy and girl express their opinions through their parents without expressing directly.

Pelli chupulu

It is the occasion where both bride and groom see each other and elders of both sides will talk to each other and come forward with wedding plans.

Nischhitaaram or Engagment

It is the occasion where the auspicious time (sumuhurat) for marriage is fixed for the sake of welfare of both boy and girl. Generally there are seven muhurats named Abhijit, Godhulikaa, Bramhee, Daivee, Aasura, Aparaajita and Aadhaka.

Wedding preparations

There is a culture behind the wedding arrangements. In the tradition of ‘Athidi Devobava’ no obstacles are made to the guests in making arrangements. That’s why everyone feels responsible. Even today the marriage works are commenced by breaking yellow antennas and from that to the final step of handing over the bride to the bridegroom parents, all these are done with the participation of relatives and it will be lively every day. From the date of Wedding gesture, writing wedding invitation, preparing the bride and bride groom and the marriage and afterwards handing over of bride all it makes a 16 days festival.

Customs, traditions and habits involved in Hindu Marriage Ceremony

Preparing bride and groom, making wedding canopy and arranging the bride and bridegroom auspicious bath, with vedic hyms and marriage instruments are going hand in hand, the two wear new clothes and worship their community deity.

Snaatakam or Naandi

The meaning of snathudu means the person who bathed. All relatives apply the flour to bride and groom (Nalugu is a mixture of turmeric powder and flours) and see that they are bathed and dressed with new clothes.

Kaasiyatra

The bride wish to go to Kasi for his higher education and to stop him he is married with a girl. This is a fun event also.

Gowri Puja

The Gowri puja is done to signify that the marriage is not done for sexual purpose but done for ritual living. That’s why Gowri puja is performed by the bride before the marriage as it is auspicious. It is believed that Godess Gowridevi blesses the bride to live with her husband for long periods.

Kallu Kadagadam

The groom is considered as replica of God Narayana. The bride’s father cleans the feet of the bride groom in a new plate while bride’s mother pours water.

Kanyadaanam

The bride’s hand is kept in the hand of the bride groom along with a coconut.

Sumuhurtham

Cumin and jaggery will be kept on both heads.

Mangalasutradharana

“Mangalyam tantunaanenaa ……….twam

Jeeva saradaashutam”, with this hymn the bride ties the ‘Mangala sutra’ in the neck of the bride and puts three knots as number three is felt as auspicious.

Talambraalu

Purified and undistorted rice will be poured on the heads of bride and bridegroom by each other with the mantra.

Bramhamudi

Cloth edges of both are tied together. It means from now you are not single you are couple, that’s why whatever work is done it should be done together.

Agnihothram

They go round the pious fire asking to take care of him as a boy when he becomes old.

Naakabali (Nagavalli)

It is removing of the sight crimen that has occurred to girl. The marriage will complete after performing homa with 33 ‘Jyothis’.

Reception

The mini marriage that is held in groom’s house. When the bride comes to groom’s house they will invite them happily. Here the bride is asked to tell the name of her husband and the husband is asked the name of his wife. It is happy occasion.

Conclusion

All the Hindus believe the marriages are decided by God Brahma and that’s why they are performed auspiciously so that they are blessed.

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The Pamamanhikan Process: Rules & Script Explained

A couple’s decision to get married is a big happening for both. In the Philippines, the involved of parents are even more significant. The practice of asking the bride’s family for approval is an important one known as ‘Pamamanhikan’.

Follow the tradition of Pamamanhikan, gain the blessing of parents, and you’ll start your wedding life more happily ever after.

Pamamanhikan in English: Meaning

The meaning of the word ‘pamamanhikan’ is derived from the word ‘panhik’ (to climb) which means to ascend or climb the house’s stairs. This may sounds strange, and you perhaps wonder why this has anything to do with asking parents for your marriage approval. You’re not alone. Even many Filipinos don’t know.

In the Philippines,  most houses in the past in  where built a flight of stairs to the entrance. As this isn’t the case anymore, the literal meaning of Pamamanhikan becomes less obvious.

Before Pamamanhikan: Paninilbihan

Before we explain the process of Pamamanhikan, there’s an important Filipino customs that happens before this event: Paninilbihan.

Paninilbihan” (Servitude) is a Filipino tradition usually done during courtship and before “pamamanhikan”. Paninilbihan is performed by the soon-to-be-groom by doing household chores such as “pagsisibak” (chopping firewood), ”pag-iigib” (fetching water), and many more. The Filipino elders say it’s a way for the groom to show that he is a responsible man. Some say paninilbihan is a dying tradition, I would say it is not since men subconsciously practice this tradition through modernized chores such as car and electrical repairs for their girlfriends and many other “modern” chores.

After this practice, you’re ready for Pamamanhikan!

The Art of Pamamanhikan

One of these customs is the Pamamanhikan and it is usually started by the Groom and his family.

Pamamanhikan process

  • During the “Pamamanhikan” the groom will first gain the approval of the bride-to-be’s parents by asking them for the daughter’s hands.
  • If the approval is given, the groom together with his family would then make a visit usually at dinner time. This is actually a way of showing courtesy.
  • Such a meeting often first starts with a basic introduction if the both families haven’t yet met.
  • Afterwards, the fundamentals of a wedding plan will be discussed such as, the wedding date, possible venues and who to invite.
  • Traditionally the groom and his parents must shoulder the wedding expenses, though some couple nowadays pays for their own wedding ceremonies, or sometimes the bride would help with some expenses. These arrangements particular can be discussed during the “Pamamanhikan”.

It’s important to note that this meeting’s program will significantly depend on whether the families already know each other. If it’s the first meeting, the focus of the event will mainly be about getting to know each other.

In some cases, the families already know each other well, and the emphasize will be placed directly on the wedding plans.

It’s important for both the groom and bride-to-be to individually share the news of engagement first. Once they each individually obtain their parents’ blessing, the meeting will be a smooth formality. If one side isn’t happy with the wedding, it’s generally not recommended to proceed with Pamamanhikan at all.

Gifts

There’s no written rule whether both sides to presents gifts to each other. However, in practice this often happens. Sometimes, it’s only the visiting site to bring gifts. Other times, even the bride’s parents prepare a gift.

Preparing Food

If the meeting takes place at the bride’s parents’ home, it’s also generally the bride side who prepares the food. Sometimes, the grooms parents may bring some food as well, but this is less common.

Location

In some cases, the location of the meeting may not take place at the bride’s home. The reason may be that the home is simply too small to host a meeting. This is especially the case if siblings tag along.

In such a case, sometimes it’s decided to host the meeting in a restaurant. If you happen to go for this option, one important consideration is to pick a restaurant with private rooms. This will allow for a more quiet environment to discuss plans.

Farewell to Single Life: Despedida de Soltera

The soon-to-be couple can also choose to have pre-wedding parties such as the Bachelors’ party and the Bridal shower. They are greatly influenced by American traditions and are only done if the couple agreed to do it. Even though traditional Filipinos are conservative in nature, these practices are now widely used due modernization and exposure to foreign countries and media. Another party which is common here in the Philippines is the “despedida de soltera” and it is done by the bride’s parents which is a way to bid farewell to single life, it is usually a formal dinner done days before the wedding.

Ethnic Group Practices

Ethnic groups also have their own unique pre-wedding practices, one would be the “Kagen” and “Taltag” done by Muslim Filipinos. It is a ceremony where the man begs for the parent’s approval, basically it is the counterpart of “Pamamanhikan”, the only distinction is the “dowry” offered.

“Palamas” also done by muslims is a spiritual cleansing done to cleanse the couple of their sins and evil spirits prior to the wedding ceremony.

In the mountainous regions of the Philippines, the Ifugaos have their traditional pre-wedding dance called the “takik”.

Other Pre-Wedding Beliefs

Determining the Wedding Date

Luckily picking a wedding date isn’t as constrained as in other Asian cultures. In China, for example, there are lucky dates known as ‘huang dao ji ri’ and a specific date may be chosen with help of a fortune teller.

In the Philippines there just important rule to keep in mind: Don’t marry in the same year as one of your siblings. If one does, it would mean bad luck for both siblings. Some families extend this rule to include cousins as well.

Buying Gifts For a Wedding

When you’re attending someone else’ wedding, don’t buy pearls or sharp gifts. Pearls symbolize tears. In fact, brides aren’t allowed to wear pearls as jewelry during the wedding day. The same reasoning applies to pear shaped gems, which are also associated with tears.

Sharp things are associated with weapons and aggression, which also don’t fit the meaning of a wedding.

No Travelling

The bride is supposed to be more careful during trips before the wedding. It’s believed that more ‘accidents’ can happen. Therefore, long trips should be avoided.

Don’t Try Out the Final Dress

The rules regarding this aspect isn’t very clear or consistent. Some families believes that the final dress shouldn’t be tried at all, while other say that one shouldn’t try the wedding dress the day before the wedding.

Ceremony Traditions

Now you know about all the pre-marriage customs! Now learn more about wedding ceremony customs & traditions in Philippines

Moving Into Your New Home

Getting married means you’ll move together under the same roof. In the Philippines, there’s a number of customs regarding this topic. Learn more about this, in the following guide:

Filipino Beliefs and Customs When Moving in to a New Home

Conclusions

Philippines is known for its rich culture, and some are credited to various colonizers. Filipinos incorporated foreign cultures with their own, and that is evident through almost every aspect of our way of life. From our food, the way we dress ourselves, up to our religion.

Wedding is not exempted as most of our wedding practices are influenced by Christian wedding cultures, though there are some practices which can be considered heritage and are practiced way before the first colonizers landed on the Philippines.

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